Articles
Putting the 'Together' in Your Next Get-Together - By Tzippi Moss
Starting Over at 49 - By Tzippi Moss
Birthdays Aren't Just Kids' Business - By Tzippi Moss
Giving Unforgettable Gifts - By Tzippi Moss
10 Unique Ways to Give Thanks During the Holiday Season - By Tzippi Moss
The Best Football Season Ever: Sports Widows Can Have Their Own Fun! - By Tzippi Moss
Putting the 'Together' in Your Next Get-Together
By Tzippi Moss
Do you fantasize about escaping to somewhere remote this holiday season just so you can avoid the frenzy of gift shopping, cooking and entertaining? Perhaps the thought of having to engage in endless chit chat with boring Uncle Fred (and I apologize in advance to all the wonderful Uncle Freds out there!) or a passive aggressive sister-in-law at the next family get-together puts the notion of more than sugar plum fairies in your head -- maybe something more along the lines of a cruise to the Seychelles or a trip to Tahiti.
Starting Over at 49
Let's face it -- many of us dread this time of year. All that time spent with THE FAMILY! And in closed, confined spaces. Yikes!
The good news is that there's a better way to handle the pressures of holiday celebrations, and it wont drain your bank account, require writing a fat check to a therapist, or add unwanted pounds to your waistline and backside.
Since so many people complain about how being around their families makes them revert to acting like a kid, how about turning that liability into an asset and add some fun and games to your next get-together?
Consider doing one of the following:
1. Throw a question scavenger hunt.
Give people a list of questions to answer related to the folks at the party. If it's a large gathering break everyone into small teams. The first to win gets a token prize. Make the questions ones than are answerable but will require some detective work, such as:
- The names of everyone born this month and their exact birthdays
- Find out from five folks the first job they ever had
- Who in the group has ever celebrated the holidays on a boat?
- Ask five folks what was one of the most unusual presents they ever received?
- Get three different recipes (must be from three different people) for one particular holiday dish (such as stuffing, sweet potato casserole, etc.)
- The story of how three people met their spouses (can't include your own tale!)
- Favorite toy of five people
Make sure to include questions that will involve people of all ages.
2. Grow a dream tree.
Have punched index cards, yarn and pens available. Ask the guests to write a dream that they want to come true on one of the cards and attach to a tree or to branches you have placed in a pot of soil. Tell them not to sign their names. At some point at the party, read off the dream cards and have folks guess who the dream belongs to.
3. Create a family time capsule.
Ask everyone to bring some small object that is symbolic of an important event in the past year, either personal, familial or world-wide. Have each one briefly explain the item chosen, place in a weather-proof container, such as Tupperwear, and bury until next years gathering. This is an activity that all ages can get involved in.
On the other hand, if the idea of doing any of the above with your particular family clan results in pictures of monotony, mayhem or mutiny, consider gathering a group of your favorite friends and try some of the above activities with them.
Whether you experiment with family or friends, you'll be creating great memories to look back on and new holiday traditions you'll look forward to recreating.
And you might just discover that Uncle Fred is not so boring after all...
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By Tzippi Moss
There is a saying floating around that all the cells in our bodies renew themselves every seven years. Last month I turned 49 years old and I was thrilled to think that I had the chance to be seven different me's, at least on the cellular level. I was even more excited to think that I was about to start fresh, a whole new cycle. A few days before turning the big 49, I felt like that jumpy little kid riding in the back seat of the car, asking “Are we there yet?”
But the truth is never quite that simple or elegant. Some parts of us renew themselves every few days like the lining of our stomach. Liver cells turn over about every two years. Other cells never regenerate, like the heart muscles cells and the cells in our neo cortex. In layman's terms, I'm stuck with the same old brain nerve cells.
Yes, I was a tad disappointed to find out that parts of me are never going to change. But thanks to a recent internet search (http://www.tokenz.com/funnny-birthday-facts.html) I now feel more productive than Bill Gates. I've also discovered why I've felt so tired lately. I've been busy! Incredibly busy. My hair has grown a whopping 12 centimeters, I've taken almost 16 million breaths and my heart has beat over 42 million times just in the last year. Pretty impressive, wouldn't you say? Next time you celebrate a birthday, just remember these nifty little facts and you'll never feel like you've drifted through another year of your life.
Going back to my reaching the milestone of my 49 years and the 7x7 theme (sure makes me feel more powerful than a 4 wheel all terrain vehicle), I happened upon another internet site (http://elevated.freeyellow.com/page 28.html) which affirmed that I had almost completed seven full chakra cycles. Chakras are our energy centers, our spiritual ladder to the stars. Do you realize the accomplishment of that feat? Seven whole cycles. I felt like I had earned my spiritual PhD! Boy, would that make my family proud!
Then I read that at age 50 I would go back to the beginning. I was incensed! I was devastated! After all that hard work it didn't seem fair that I should be going back to diapers, in the spiritual sense. No wonder so many people dread turning half a century old. Can you imagine potty training at that age? Thank God I kept on reading, because the article then added that I'd begin from a higher level of development than before. That was a huge relief, let me tell you...
From this place of higher development, I've finally attained enlightenment. I now know that everything is in perfect balance. My brain is old, the inside of my belly is new. So I can eat whatever I want and forget about the consequences.
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Birthdays Aren't Just Kids' Business
By Tzippi Moss
You don’t need an excuse to celebrate, but if you or your friend’s birthday is around the corner, then take the time to create a party that is memorable and lasting with your close circle of friends. With a pinch of creativity, you can make some magical moments! Even more important, finding the right gift can be painstakingly difficult. Here are some tips of how the event activities become the most precious of gifts.
We all have them. Some of us anticipate them and others dread them terribly. Some make a big fuss over them and others try to avoid theirs like the plague. I’m talking about that event that commemorates our entry into the world - our birthdays.
Do you remember the days when you used to mark them by the quarter and half marks? Sure, back then time had a way of stretching almost endlessly. Now time is calibrated by the beeps of our cell phones and alarm clocks and organized by palm pilots and Blackberries. Who ever named those devices knew that time flies, but did they forget it doesn’t just grow on trees? As we get older, time moves faster than a cheetah at a race-track. So celebrating life, and our lives, in particular becomes that much more important.
Over five years ago, a dear friend of mine was quite depressed. Both personal and world events were triggering her despair. She had just had a birthday, but it did nothing to lift her spirits. Family members didn’t do anything special, and most friends didn’t remember the day. She felt pretty miserable. More than anything she just wanted to get together with some good women friends and celebrate something, anything that would take her mind off of her dark thoughts. She suddenly remembered that I had a birthday coming up and that the antidote to her depression would be to throw me a party.
I gave her a list of some friends and she took care of the rest. The directions were pretty simple. No talking about work or family, and bring a creative activity to do with the group and a round food to share. “We’re celebrating wholeness,” my friend said. So we ate cherry tomatoes, chocolate truffles, tuna mousse in a round bowl, and grapes and melon balls. “We’re celebrating Tzippi,” my friend said.
So they wrote poems, sculpted with modeling clay, sang, and told stories that celebrated and poked fun at me. Mostly we laughed, and laughed a lot. And what we celebrated that night was not just my birthday but our ability to play the way we did when we were kids. In fact, it was even better than when we played as kids because as middle aged women we took less for granted, and that included the most precious commodity of all. “We’re celebrating life,” my friend said, summing it all up.
We’ve been celebrating each others’ ever since. Get together with some good friends and celebrate yours. Time doesn’t grow on trees.
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Giving Unforgettable Gifts
By Tzippi Moss
I was recently talking to a friend of mine who had just celebrated a big birthday. He told me how people went all out on the gifts, sparing no expense. When I asked him what his favorite was, he said, “Oh, that’s easy. No contest. It was the one from my daughter. She gathered pictures of both of us and made a big collage that she then had framed. On the wood frame, she painted ‘I love you’ with hearts and stars. That gift made me cry. None of the other store bought ones did.”
That got me thinking. What were the best gifts I have ever received? One that immediately stands out is what my then 17 year old daughter did for me at my last birthday. She told me that I needed to give her a couple of days notice before she could give me her gift. She said that I would need to clear a few hours on my calendar and tell me what day I had chosen. That got me curious. I was sure she was planning on taking me somewhere. One morning, I told her I had cleared my calendar for the next day. The following morning, just before leaving for school, she dropped an envelope on the table. “Happy Birthday, Mom- don’t open this until after I leave. I hope you like it.”
I was surprised. What in the world could she have given me? I tore open the envelope. Inside was a page of yellow lined paper with the following message:
Dear Mom,
You have your present coming to you, but like the parties you throw for your friends, you have to work for it! That is why I am sending you on a treasure hunt! Make sure to follow instructions carefully. Your notes are small yellow or orange notes. If you have any problems, send me a SMS. Wear comfortable shoes. Here’s your first instruction. Go to….
P.S. If you had given me more advance notice, I would have had more time to prepare. Thanks a lot! :)
Oops. So much for my following her pre-gift instructions of giving her a couple of days warning. Anyway, my blooper didn’t keep her from planning an incredible tour of one of the historic areas in our city that I barely knew. I searched for notes that directed me to a hollow tree stump, to a certain sales person named Dan in a local bookstore and other hilarious instructions that entertained and taught me about hidden gems in my own home town. The different stops included historical information about what I was seeing, a coupon for a used book, and a gift certificate to buy myself some article of clothing at her favorite store, so I would stop borrowing her cool clothes.
Follow the tips below and you’ll be remembered for unforgettable gifts as well.
1) Give a gift that expresses your love loud and clear. My friend’s daughter’s gift stood out because of the effort she made to personalize her present and her clear message of love.
2) Give an experience. My daughter’s gift scored big because she sent me on an adventure that I will never forget! The more novel or unusual the experience and the more it fits the person’s interests, the more memorable it will be.
3) Give the gift of your time. Again, my daughter’s gift was a winner as it was clear how much effort she had gone to surprise and delight me. My mother’s favorite gift was a hand made book of coupons she received from her grandkids that could be redeemed for giving her a piano concert, baking cookies together and other activities where they spent time just with her.
4) Know the celebrant’s dreams and desires and help them come true. My husband knew how much I had wanted to go on a meditation retreat and for one of my birthdays he made all the arrangements so that could happen. I have never forgotten that present. If you can make someone’s dream come true, you have given a gift beyond measure.
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10 Unique Ways to Give Thanks During the Holiday Season
By Tzippi Moss
'Tis the season when the commercials on T.V. and the radio and the displays in the stores cajole and convince us to buy, buy, buy. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by trying to find that perfect gift for everyone. Yet the truest message at this time of year is to thank, thank, thank. Isn’t this at the heart of Thanksgiving? Christmas? Chanukah? And all the other holidays?
Here are ten ways of giving thanks to your loved ones or to anyone else whose presence has made a difference in your life:
1. Send a card sharing all the qualities you appreciate in that person. Challenge yourself to come up with one trait for every year he or she has lived. This is one card that will not be relegated to the garbage can.
2. Write down a memory of this person that is meaningful to you- a way, perhaps, of how this person has influenced your life for the better, or of how she helped you when you most needed it. Add a favorite picture of both of you to the card.
3. Send an anonymous love letter to this person.
4. Send a list of “natural highs” to him or her and add or highlight one that she has graced you with and add a short explanation of how she did this. Some examples are: being given an unexpected compliment, a really warm bath, a stranger smiling at you, watching little kids play, a conversation with a good friend in the middle of the night or any other time when there are no interruptions.
5. Choose at least one person from your holiday card mailing list to call up. Ideally, it should be someone who you haven’t talked to in a long long time. Thank this person for being in your life by sharing something you treasure about him or her. You’ll give the gift of letting someone know she still matters in your life and you get the present of reconnecting with a long lost friend or family member.
6. Give the gift of quality time. Though I give thanks daily for my loved ones, that doesn’t necessarily translate on the day- to -day level to them feeling like a priority. Doesn’t it often seem that e-mail, shopping, work, cooking and a long list of other to do’s often take precedence over wonderful undisturbed time with those we most treasure? When my teenage son recently asked me what I wanted for a birthday gift, I answered “time to go out together, just the two of us.” He took me out to a local ice cream place and the sweetest taste of all was having the opportunity to hang out together and catch up on the little things in each other’s lives.
7. Do a favor. We all have certain errands or chores that we prefer not to do. We all have moments when we want to be forgiven for something. We all have times when we need some comfort. Have you considered making up little booklet with coupons that state this can be redeemed for: not having to do a chore, being unconditionally forgiven, receiving a 5 minute foot massage, being listened to with no interruptions, one good cry on the shoulder, etc. You’ll thank yourself for having been able to make a big or small difference to someone in that moment.
8. Surprise someone. Imagine giving to someone who would never expect a gift from you. Give thanks for all that you have in your life by spreading some of that abundance around. Bring a pot of soup over to someone you know who lives alone and would love some home made food and conversation. Write a letter thanking someone for special service or assistance they have given you. Give a really huge tip.
9. Give thanks for what has inspired you in your life by sharing the gift of inspiration with others. You can compile a collection of great articles that you’ve clipped from the paper, or unique quotes that you download from the internet, or share a piece of wisdom that’s worth knowing.
10. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Humor is one of life’s greatest gifts so share it with someone by sending a great joke, buying a funny book or seeing a comedy together.
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The Best Football Season Ever: Sports Widows Can Have Their Own Fun!
By Tzippi Moss
The football season offers great opportunities for us women to rediscover ourselves, while keeping a distance from those who remain perpetually glued to the tube and their munchies week in and week out. So, don’t go in to ‘hibernation’ – here’s how you can take control of this season in some exciting and memorable ways.
Around this time of year I hear of women who feel abandoned. Yes, I’m talking about that unique seasonal male bonding ritual, called NFL Sunday’s and Monday Night Football.
If you are one of those women who begin looking at the T.V. set and plasma screens with hatred and envy, or whose mind starts to numb at the very word “football”, start thanking your guy instead for the wonderful opportunity you’ve just been handed.
What is that, you’re wondering? The chance to create your own Fall season ritual with your women friends. As the men become oblivious to you while tossing back a few beers, chowing down on their favorite junk foods and cheering on their chosen teams, take the ball in your own hands and organize your own celebration.
Remember, if you’re out of the house, you don’t have to deal with listening to the ongoing football commentary, requests for stuff from the kitchen or the assumption that you will be volunteered for clean up duty. If your partner is hopeless with organizing child care or cleaning up after the guys, write him a little love note, or say something that goes like this:
Dear Football-Fan Hubby,
I know how much you love the football season. Sunday’s and Monday nights are holy for you until the day after the Super Bowl. This year I want you to really enjoy yourself. I’ve arranged a baby sitter/cleaner for the kids so that you can watch the games undistracted with your buddies. I’m getting out of the house, as well, so you can really hang out with the guys. You won’t even have to worry about the clean up.
Have a great time and know I love you,…
If on the other hand, your partner shares duties with you, you might try writing or saying the following:
Dear Football Fan Hubby,
I know how much you love the football season. Sunday’s and Monday nights are holy for you until the day after the Super Bowl. This year I really want you to enjoy yourself. That’s why I’ll plan on getting out of the house so you and your friends can have a good time alone. I’m leaving the babysitter and clean up arrangements to you so they suit you best. Have a great time,
Love,…
That’s Stage I. Now for the best part… Stage II.
Gather together a group of your friends and create your own version of female bonding. While it’s always nice to go out to a restaurant or a movie, why not try something a little different?
Consider forming a women’s club that meets every Sunday afternoon or Monday night during the football season. Have a different woman plan each week’s fun, according to her interests and specialties. That way, you may enjoy a spa night, a night tour of historical sites, famous homes, or great architecture in your area, a home crafts evening or one of decadent desserts. If one of you is a bookworm, ask each woman to come dressed as one of her favorite book characters and bring books to swap. The holidays are coming up – brainstorm with your women’s club on creative gifts for your family, while sipping on exotic wine punches and eating warm chestnuts. The possibilities are endless.
So, leave the couch potatoes in their most comfortable position – this year’s football season will never be the same.
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